When TV personality Soledad O’Brien lost her father, Edward O’Brien, this past February to a lung complication, she wasn’t sure how to process the grief. She thought she could lean on her mother, Estela O’Brien, for support, but life had other plans. Just 40 days later, Estela passed away, leaving Soledad to navigate a whirlwind of emotions all on her own.
Speaking candidly to People, the 52-year-old journalist reflected on the unexpected weight of her loss. "I was really taken aback by how deeply it hit me, even though my parents were both in their 90s and not in the best health," she admitted. "They were fighting so many battles, but I realized that no matter how prepared you think you are, losing loved ones is something you never truly get over."
A Mother's Grief and the Toll of Dementia
My mom died today. Joining my dad who passed away 40 days ago. She was a pretty remarkable lady. An immigrant from Cuba, she lived with the Oblate Sisters of Providence in Baltimore during college. Here (on the left) she is in Cuba in the 1930s. pic.twitter.com/oZNzEqa7ig
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Edward’s death was particularly hard on Estela, who suffered from dementia. It was a daily struggle for her to remember his passing. "There were moments when she'd call me and say, 'Did you hear the news about your dad? He passed away,'" Soledad recounted. "It was heartbreaking to see her relive that pain over and over again. She never fully processed it."
As time went on, Estela's dementia worsened, adding another layer of complexity to the situation. "Each year, it became more challenging," Soledad explained. "We knew it would be incredibly difficult, if not impossible, for my mom to carry on after losing my dad. It felt like she had already given up on life."
Coming to Terms With Loss
More pix from my parents. Me. Newborn. With mom. pic.twitter.com/aeeD4TlPL6
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) March 7, 2017
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Soledad believes that her mother made a conscious decision to let go. "When my dad passed, I think my mom decided that when her time came, she was ready to move on. She wanted to be with him again," she shared. "But for me, losing both of them in such a short period was overwhelming. It was this strange mix of relief and heartbreak."
"On one hand, it was comforting to know they weren't suffering anymore. On the other hand, it felt like my entire world had shifted," she continued. "You go through these waves of emotion—gratitude, sadness, confusion. It's a lot to process."
Honoring Her Parents' Legacy
Despite the challenges, Soledad has already thought of a meaningful way to honor her parents' memory. "I want to plant a tree for them," she revealed. "Since they were cremated, I don't have a physical place to visit, but I love the idea of sitting under a beautiful tree—maybe a weeping willow or a Japanese maple—and feeling connected to them. It's a peaceful, hopeful thought."
"I imagine bringing them up to speed on everything that's happening in my life," she added with a smile. "It's a way to keep their spirits alive and celebrate the love they gave me while they were here."
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